A small Ft. Hood memory for today.. and Chaos 207

The new podcast is up. Show notes to follow. But first, a quick word..

I recorded the show yesterday afternoon as the events at Ft. Hood were unfolding. Like many of you, I was stunned to learn of the mass killing at the army base. And today's shooting in Orlando only adds to the sense of bewilderment at the violence and tragedy. I did not address either shooting in the podcast, but wanted to share a small memory.

About 7 years ago, we spoke to an Army Chaplain from Ft. Hood on Satellite Sisters. The Iraq War had just started and the chaplain was gracious enough to be on the show early on Saturday morning to fill us in on the emotions there at Ft. Hood. He was a lovely man and so solicitous of us during the interview, warm and caring. I remember thinking at the time, "These soldiers and these families are in good hands."

As it turned out, one of the reason the chaplain had made such an effort to be on Satellite Sisters was because he thought we were Sisters, as in nuns, not just sisters, as in Dolans. After the interview, he asked, "So, what order are you all?"

We all had a good laugh, the chaplain included, as we processed the misunderstanding. I was remembering that good man today and that sweet moment on the show. I hope that chaplain is still on the base. And that the soldiers and the families at Ft. Hood are still in good hands. They need it today more than ever.

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

What's Happening at Chaos Chronicles

Hi, Chaos Crew...

I have recorded Chaos Chronicles 207. I cover the Yankees, National Novel Writing Month, more health myths busted and marriage tips from the Crew. Plus, my To Do list, inspired by my sister Julie. Whew! I need some time to recover for our parent-teacher conferences tonight. Due to special circumstances, (Don't worry-- everyone's okay!) Chaos Chronicles 207 will be posted Friday. Look for it here or at iTunes.


In the meantime, please check out the Satellite Sister Holiday Bazaar, just posted at satellitesisters.com. It's our annual round-up of holiday gifts. Unique, fun, for every price range and gift-giving need. And all can be ordered online! Our gift to you to make your holidays a little less chaotic.

And, a special tip of the hat to our sponsor makinglifebetter.com for supporting the Chaos Chronicles and the Satellite Sisters Holiday Bazaar. To say thank you to makinglifebetter.com and to receive 31 days of delish holiday recipes in your inbox every day in December, click here. Look for the cinnamon stars and click through to sign up for 31 Days of Confection Perfection.

Holiday Chaos: The Quiet before the Storm

Hi, Chaos Crew...

A quick post today, as I am in fiction writing mode , trying to take advantage of the momentum of National Novel Writing Month to wrap up my book. Thanks to all the Chaos Crew who sent this in as a suggestion! And, I see that several fellow Chaos Crew members are also taking the novel writing challenge! That is great. I'll talk more about my writing on this week's Chaos Chronicles podcast.

But, speaking of momentum, check out makinglifebetter.com for my latest column: Cut the Chaos: Getting a Jump on Holiday Madness. Yes, take advantage of this lull in early November to simplify your life in early December. I promise, you will be glad that you did. I know that I dug out my Thanksgiving files yesterday in preparation for a phone call to my mother. She likes to nail down her portion of the holiday early ( fruit and cheese platter, butternut squash, chocolate turkeys, and party favors). I knew she would want to know my workback schedule for the next three weeks.

So I tasked myself some Thanksgiving prep duties yesterday:

-- Pilgrim Relocation to mantle in place of jack-o-lanterns
-- Cornucopia Recovery ( in basement in sealed tubs) and Distribution ( to coffee tables)
-- Front Door Wreath Exchange from Halloween theme to Fall harvest theme
-- White Napkin Wash and Press to avoid last minute panic and overcome poor ironing skills.

My mother seemed pleased when I reported my progress on the phone. Can you see where I inherited the Overthink Gene?

Back to writing. Enjoy the column! Love reading your own holiday preparation rituals.

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

The First Marriage vs. My Marriage

The cover story of the New York Times Magazine this week was about The First Marriage. The cover blared: It's Modern. It's a Formidable International Brand. And It's an Ongoing Negotiation.

"That sounds just like us," I said to my husband, as I flashed the impossibly glamorous cover photo at him early on a Sunday morning. It was 6 am and Berick was watching a Formula One Race from Abu Dhabi and I was in my Yankees pajamas, drinking coffee. Yes, there are giant differences between us and the Obamas. My husband thinks he could fix the country in about a month if he were President; Mr. Obama actually is the President. I would like to be 5'11"; Mrs. Obama actually is 5'11". The President and his wife exercise together every morning; even some light stretching before bed becomes a competition between Berick and I.

Finally, when I am trying to prove that my creative career path and non-linear thinking is really an asset to our relationship, I'll say, "You coulda married a lawyer who'd come home in a blue suit every day. How dull would that be?" Yes, he coulda, like the President who married Michelle, a lawyer with a fabulous wardrobe who does not appear to be the slightest bit dull.

But still, I felt like we had something in common with the Obamas: We are still married! And, like the First Couple, not every minute of the last 16 years has been easy. There have been good years and rough ones, like the first years of parenthood. We have found ourselves living out gender- specific roles more than we ever would have predicted. There were times when I felt like a single mom and he felt the extraordinary pressure of being the sole financial provider. And, we have made sacrifices for each other that have not always been easy. Like most married couples.

The longer I am married, the more interested I become in how other people make their marriages work. That's why I appreciated the cover story and the candid interview with the First Couple. According to census figures, roughly half of Americans over the age of 24 are married. That's a lot of people, people! But I feel like the average married person is underrepresented in the media. We know, we're married and we're not cool, hip and sexy. Our daily conversations may not be a scintillating as , say, conversations between vampires or singletons. But we're holding it together the best we can!

For many years on Satellite Sisters, I pushed to do stories about marriage that went beyond "spice up your sex life". I'll never forget what one producer, early in our radio days told me, "Nobody is interested in married people. Nobody cares."

Well, I care. And I'm guessing that some of you care. So here are a few things I've learned after 16 years of marital bliss:

I like being married. It's working relationship that I enjoy.

Marriage is flexible membrane, expanding in the good years and contracting through the rough periods.

You never know what is going on behind closed doors.

Stop stressing about the joint bank account. That is the tip of the "joint" iceberg.

The marriage you start out with may not be the marriage you end up with.

You can weather more storms than you thought. Just be patient.

It must be really awful to be married to the wrong person.

Being a grownup means learning to shut up.

It's just the toothpaste cap, let it go.

The Beatles were right: And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.






What have you learned? I'd love to hear.

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

The Witches of Pasadena

I am sure many of you, like the nation's retailers, are already over Halloween and have moved onto Christmas and Hanukkah. ( Thanksgiving is a retail afterthought. It is a shame.) But allow me to share a few more photos ( and some numbers) before I head off to do some real work!

Number of Crows purchased to create Gothic Living Room Vibe on Front porch: 8
Number of Screaming Tombstones it takes to scare busloads of children: 1
Number of trick- or- treaters at my house: 300
Number of Big Bars handed out between 7:05 and 7:45: 150
Best reaction to giant Hershey bar: "Dang!"
Best comment on my outfit from teenagers: 'Giii-rl, you got it going on."
Number of small children who were too scared to make it up the front steps: 3
Number of kids dressed as Micheal Jackson: 0
Number of grandmothers dressed as French maids: 1
Time the candy ran out: 8:30
Time the oatmeal packets, bags of Fritos, and cheap glowsticks used as back-up treats ran out: 9:00
Number of Colin's fun size treats eaten by Lian over the weekend: 0

For more on Halloween, check out the Satellite Sisters blog.


Embracing my chaos,

Lian

Halloween To Do List

In years past, my goal was to win Halloween. I live in a Destination Trick-or-Treat Zone ( DTZ) , welcoming hundreds of children, and some actual grown-ups with pillow cases, to my door every year. I want to be the house everyone remembers because I am that kind of girl. Competitive. But the competition is getting much stiffer.

One of the problems with living so close to Hollywood is that many actual Hollywood designers, costumers, and special effects people have moved into the 'hood. My DTZ has turned into a living showcase of Hollywood below-the-line talent. And, I am not amongst their ilk.

Curses!

My impressive jack-lantern display and spray of orange lights can not compete with the House of the Drunken Pirates up the street. ( It is amazing-- maybe because he's the designer that re-designed the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland!) Or the guy that creates a House of Horror in his garage, just like the one he created at Universal Studios ( I kid you not. Floating heads, people, and holograms!) To top it off, some new neighbors moved in and they had professionals -- men in trucks with big ladders-- create a cemetery in the front yard and ring the house with orange icicle lights. I hope they don't have a fog machine or I'm sunk!

I am losing ground to these people. But that doesn't mean I'm not looking to place in the top three. Here's my To Do List for Halloween 2009:

Remember the Candy: Sure, floating heads and holograms are cool. But kids remember candy most of all. Big bars will insure that I am not outclassed, except by the house with the giant Pixie Sticks, a Halloween oxymoron.

Fire up the Sound Effects: One well-timed howl from our screaming tombstone can be more memorable than lot of pretty ghosts. Check batteries and make sure howling tombstone is ready to go.

Put on a Green Face: I always dress up. Last year I was Yoga Class Witch ( see above) but I did not commit to a green face. This year, I am going for it, despite recent warning about toxicity of Halloween face make-up. One night couldn't hurt, right?

Use Older Son as Prop: Watch out! Teenager hiding in bushes! Bwa Hahaha!

For more on Halloween, click here to read Cut the Chaos for Halloween. And please, add your own Halloween To Do List.

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Chaos Chronicles Podcast 206 is up!

The new Chaos Chronicles podcast is up, thanks to Sarah in NYC who managed to upload the show, despite being sick as a dog. Thank you, Sarah. Sarah got the flu while visiting her nieces and nephews, causing her to write, "Children are petri dishes."

Ah, so true.

Click here to listen to the show.

If you are an iTunes subscriber, please subscribe to Chaos Chronicles on Itunes in the next week or so to insure that you will continues to get the podcast automatically. Thanks.

On the show this week:

My Dad goes to the Derm, Part Deux.

U2: The concert and the aftermath

What to do about my family's NCIS addiction. Suggestions welcomed.

Damned if you do, Damned if you don't: Real women in the workplace issues. related articles:
NYT: Joanne Lipman The Mismeasure of a Women

Vanity Fair: Nell Scovell Letterman &Me


Okay, off to finish up my article on Mommy Brain. Let's see, where did I put that yellow pad!

Embracing my Chaos, Lian